Saturday, October 1, 2016

Writer's Block and Breaking Free

I have to begin writing again. But, I don't feel like I have that much to say. I'm sure that it's just because I haven't been writing regularly... and if I don't make a point of recognising them, all the interesting moments of my life simply fade into a sea of homogeneous experience. 

I'm jetlagged. Master and I just got back from Barcelona. We spent 5 days there with his family. This was a new experience for me... I've never been invited on someone else's family vacation. But, these people feel like my family too and it was good to spend the time with them. 

They tell you that if you don't know what to write just keep writing and finally something will come to you. I'm not sure how I feel about that. Well, I haven't had much luck yet. 

I have, however, started on a new venture. I posted a picture a few days ago. The caption gave people the opportunity to make photo requests of me. 

Honestly, I don't know what to tell you kids. I want to entertain you with my literative brilliance... But I'm at a loss. I could tell you about how I have confirmed my dislike of Picasso, how I have missed Master's cuddles while we have been traveling, how I'm concerned that his brother might suffer from depression... You tell me. Are those things that you want to hear about? Do you want to hear about the mundane ins and outs of my life? I could tell you about my job search... Normally, I try to keep this blog to really juicy kinky things. Do you want to hear about my real life? Please let me know. 

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Well, it's been a week since I started this post. I have been really struggling with my anxiety, and I don't think that there is a single force that is more deadly to my creativity. 

Master and I have continued to travel. I am currently in Indianapolis (for business). I am supposed to be attending a conference. I went for the first 2 full days. Yesterday, I just couldn't take it anymore. I was anxious and depressed. I felt completely overwhelmed by the amount of information that was being thrown my way. So, Master and I went back to our AirBNB and took the rest of the day off. The conference goes on for another full day, but we slept in and have spent a lazy day in bed. 

Yep. That means sex. For sure. 

It has been interesting for me to watch the progression of my slave training. Master has been very gentle of late because of my emotional lack of fortitude. However, looking back over the past 5 months, I am seeing changes. It is amazing how pliable I am in his hands. 

I am a strange combination between dependence and fierce independence. When I met Master, I would have vehemently denied that I was willing to be a slave. I considered myself a submissive. It wounded my pride to be called a slave. How quickly that changed... I found that within just a few days, I was willing to serve Master in whatever capacity he desired. I look back at it, now... A part of my personality that I considered so vital to "being me" melted away like snow before his heat. 

I have learned to love it when he slaps my clit. The first time, I thought it was one of the more painful things that I had ever experienced. He ordered me to keep my legs apart. I struggled and fought to keep my legs open, but every fiber of my being, all of my instincts, reflexes, screamed for my legs to close. I had to physically hold my ankles because I couldn't do it any other way. I cried, bitterly, from the pain. It was agony. Truly. Today, he did it again. Brought his hand down, stinging, on my clit. I happily exposed my pussy for his repeated strikes. Rather than agony, I writhed in ecstasy.

"Cum for me, bitch."

God, those words are so erotic. I allowed the waves of orgasm to overtake me. I panted and moaned as his hand continued to fall on my swollen and aroused clit. Harder and harder it fell. Each sting was stronger than the last. I grabbed my ankle to steady my legs and lost myself in orgasmic bliss. 

He knelt over me. He pulled at the waistband of his underwear. His fully erect cock sprang out toward my eager mouth. Side note here: I LOVE sucking cock. Love it. It is one of my favorite ways to tell Master that I love him. I took his throbbing cock in my mouth, gently passing my tongue around his head, while listening to his breathing become ragged with pleasure. He grabbed me by the hair and gently thrust his cock into my mouth. In and out. In and out. I relaxed under his control, and he guided my head. My tongue (secret weapon) swirled around him as he used my mouth. 

My jaw began to ache. I have TMJ and when I am anxious, it gets worse because I clench. Master was so gentle with me. I turned my head away and expressed my discomfort. Rather than the brutal punishement that I would normally receive, he pulled away. 

He moved down the bed and informed me that I no longer needed my pants. I laid on my back and pulled my knees toward my shoulders. We locked eyes as he eased into me. He thrust into me, harder and harder. I felt him slamming against my cervix. He commanded me to cum. He continued to pound me. Suddenly, he stopped and flipped me onto my face. He threw a pillow beneath my hips and entered me from behind. I love when Master mounts me. It makes me feel so completely owned. With my hips supported, I could feel his cock driving into the muscle wall of my abdomen. It is one of my favorite sensations. 

He turned me onto my back again. My ankles were on his shoulders. I love this position because it allows me to direct his cock straight at my g-spot. 

"Cum harder."

I clenched down hard on his cock. I pushed him out. I felt the warm wetness of my squirt dripping down my hungry cunt. He plunged in again. I pushed him out. More of my wetness coated his cock. He thrust in again. I tried to drive him out, clenching my pelvic muscles like I was trying to crush his cock. We fought like this, strength against strength, sweat coursing over our bodies. 

He withdrew quickly. 

"Take it, bitch."

I opened my mouth, and he came hard. Shooting his load into my hair, all over my face, and into my waiting mouth. I could feel the cum dripping down my scalp. 

With a charming smile, he helped me up and we went into the bathroom to shower. 

We leave Indianapolis on Monday. We are flying directly to Fort Collins to spend time with one of Master's best friends. It should be an amazing time. Really, all time I spend with him is amazing. I'm addicted to this man. I can't get enough. 

In spite of all the depression and anxiety, the unexpected twists and turns of life... Life is good. Life is really good. 

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