Though I know it probably isn't obvious from my internet presence (the exhibitionism and all that), I am actually an introvert. I'm not the kind of girl who throws parties, especially for myself. However, since I met Master, things are changing.
In completely atypical fashion, I decided to throw a birthday party for myself. Who is this girl, really? Who is she... and what happened to me? Master collared me at the same time that we decided to enter the kink scene where we live. Over the past four months, we have met a lot of people. We have made friends (something that is generally so hard for me to do... But with him, I'm so much braver). I made a list of many of the friends that we have made... some of them close friends, some just acquaintances. I contacted them. What the fuck are you doing!!????!
Not only did I invite people I didn't know well, I invited them to my house, without everything planned out, without worrying if they would get along. Gone was my social anxiety, gone was my compulsive perfectionism. I was agog.
But, I did it. I invited something like 15 people. I let people bring guests that I had never met. For this, I have all of you to thank. This community has shown me a different side of humanity. I never expected to find acceptance like I have here, and I find that I have less and less fear of what people think of me. Truthfully, the love and encouragement that I have gotten from all of you has made a really amazing difference in my estimation of myself (and copious loves from my AMAZING Master).
Oh goodness, there are so many things that I want to talk to you all about. This post might be nearly eternal.
Anyway, I was talking with my therapist today (Yes, I have a therapist) about what this coming out/transformation has been like. Growing up like I did, in such a conservative fashion, caused/necessitated the suppression of part of my personality (the kinky part). She was discussing the dramatic shift in my general happiness and well-being since I decided to pursue kink and how repressing a part of a personality can lead to mental illness. I AM BIPOLAR! Ahem...ahem, and I suffer from chronic depression. I have survived suicidal ideation. I am... the girl who lived! Sorry... too dramatic. She told me that I am actually one of the most marked cases that she has seen. Being true to myself was the single most transformative decision that I have made, in my life.
Sorry about that folks, I got sidetracked. I was telling you about my birthday. In the end, there were eight that showed up bringing the final head count to ten.
Libations flowed freely.
... I must interrupt this regularly scheduled broadcast, again, to tell you that I purchased hiking boots for my dog. I just put all four of them on her... and I'm about to piss myself I'm laughing so hard.
... Now, back to your regularly scheduled programming.
We had quite a cast of characters present, one of whom was completely vanilla. So, we feasted on his kink virginity in lieu of cake. I don't think he minded... not one bit.
The evening began with some good, old-fashioned fire play. Isopropyl + matches = FUN! This was when my clothes started coming off. Because who doesn't want to be sensually lit on fire!? I wish it were easy to describe the sensation. It feels warm, bordering on hot. Just before your skin starts to burn, the alcohol is gone and the fire goes out.
We also got to play with a little fire cupping. Pretty neat. Yes, yes... those are my household glasses. We improvised. This creates a vacuum beneath the glass and feels a little like being massaged from inside.
From there, my multi-talented friend provided a shibari demonstration (on yours truly, of course). I have been interested in working with rope for quite a long time. I have always fantasized about being tied up and helpless. So, this was a really enjoyable experience for me. One of these days, Master and I (we finally got our own rope!) are going to learn a little tying. I can't wait.
Pretty fucking awesome, right!? Oh my goodness, I want to do more of this. I'll just have to figure out how to bribe him to do it... ;) I want to fly (that is, to do rope suspension).
I felt totally gorgeous in the ropes. The ties fit all my curves and were tight like a glove. There was a moment where he grasped the back of the tie and lifted me... I slumped forward like a ragdoll hanging from his grasp. Thinking about it still gives me shivers. More, please!?
Then, there were birthday spankings. By that I mean, all of the guests held me down and smacked my ass until I was screeching. It wasn't anywhere near my age. In fact, Master deliberately didn't count. I have no idea how long they held me. I just remember short silences punctuated with a sharp crack as a hand fell upon my ass, followed by the screech that left my mouth of its own accord. I busied myself with trying to figure out who was about to hit me... and then threaten to kill them by name. I think I did quite well. It kept me from totally losing it, crying, etc. In addition to the increasingly aggressive threats, the primal growls and shrieks... I fucking fought like hell. I kicked and I bit and I scratched (much to everyone's amusement, I think. I was WAY out-numbered).
It gives the concept of friendship to a whole new level when you allow your friends to bare-handed spank your ass until it's beet red and bleeding, hop up when it's over and get back to having an amazing time (not that I ever stopped).
I would like you to notice the GLORIOUS handprints on my ass. I mean, you can see all the digits outlined. Look!!
Jesus Fucking Christ! That stung like a mother fucker. The rest of the night, sitting down was an adventure. :-)
When things seemed to quiet down for a little bit. Master brought out a new game that we had bought, called Over the Line. It's something like a combination between pictionary and charades with really, really horrible/heinous/racist/disgusting/WTF prompts like: Jew fro, rape van, plumber butt, bone a sheep... I could go on forever. If you, dear reader, are a fucked up person like myself, I HIGHLY recommend it. You can find it on Amazon here. We hadn't had the opportunity to play before. It really is best with a larger group of people. OH MY GOD, it was amazing. We had a fantastic time.
While the game was going, I curled up between my Master and my rope friend. (He has been dying to fuck me for a while, and GOD, I just love tormenting him. I'm sure that the time will come eventually and Master will let us play.) So I snuggled up, naked, and made myself at home. You know, a little petting, excessive physical contact... I love being a bad girl.
Meanwhile, a few of my guests had gotten a little frisky. I had to provide a few absorbent pads to protect my rug from all the squirt!
We kept talking and playing until just before sunrise. I couldn't have imagined a more satisfying birthday party. Thank you to all who attended!! I love you all!
P.S. Here is what my ass looked like the next day:
and the day after that:
and the day after that: