Most little girls grow up dreaming of a fairytale castle and a charming prince on a white horse. I dreamt of this also… However, my fairytale castle had a dungeon. In fact, it still does. I’ve finally found a prince who knows what to do with it, who knows what to do with me.
My life has changed so much in the past two months. I met my beloved Master. In two months he has changed me so drastically. He enslaved me with his charm, laughter, love, power, strength, and dominance. I have longed my entire life for someone who could control me, debase me, use me like a filthy whore and still cherish me. I found him. So many rights and freedoms that I would never have given away, I threw at his feet. It was so natural. It IS so natural.
I never expected to find a love like this or a man before whom I wanted to kneel. At his feet, I feel a peace that I have not felt before.
Every relationship is hard work. It is no small undertaking to transform two people into one unit. This is more than that. I want to be an extension of Master, so connected that I am as close to him as his arms and legs. In order to achieve this, I bend my will to his. His desires become my desires. Anything and everything he asks will be accomplished flawlessly, without question or hesitation.
This is the type of obedience to which I aspire. This is the obedience that I will achieve. My service makes me joyful, and my submission gives me freedom. The blessed and beautiful thing about all of this is that we have our entire lives to accomplish it.
I am beginning my slave training in earnest. I know that this is going to be difficult, painful, grueling and sometimes even horrific. I know that all that comes with unending love, affection, respect, and care.
Master has told me that things are going to change.
My life will include bathroom use control, dietary restrictions/specifications, and a dress code both inside and out of the house, bed times, and exercise schedules. When Master is not able to be with me, I will not be under the influence of any substance. I will limit physical, spoken, and eye contact with strangers. I will not speak to strangers unless spoken to or given consent by Master. From now on, I will take my meals, when at home, from a bowl at his feet.
Strangely enough, I cannot wait to begin. That is the way that I love this man. I will give him everything that I am, and everything that I am not. I will be clay in his hands for him to mold, shape and form into something abjectly beautiful.
Master says that I am ready to meet his sadist. I am frightened. I believe that I should be, but I want to know every facet of him. Beneath all of my fears, there is a foundation of truth. I trust this man. I trust him with my life. Someday, I will trust him with our children.
I am frightened of losing myself in his shadow. Yet, I know that he will protect me. Someday, in the not too distant future, I will no longer fear. The emotional agony wrought by others will be overwritten.
Fear is the mind killer.Fear is the little death that brings total obliteration.
I will face my fear.
I will permit is to pass over me and through me.
And when it has gone past, I will turn the inner eye to see its path.Where the fear has gone, there will be nothing.
Only I will remain.
– from Dune by Frank Herbert
This is the first day of the rest of my life. I will face my challenges bravely. I know that each one will be rewarded a thousand times over. I want nothing more than to spend the rest of my life at the feet of my beloved.