I think Master and I might be Fetlife's greatest success. That is, of course, impossible to know... nevertheless, there sure were a lot of coincidental events that brought us together.
I believe in fate. Call it a leftover from my religious upbringing. Call it whatever you will. It helps me to bring sense to the world in which I live.
I joined Fetlife on a whim. Several people had told me that it would be a good way to get plugged into the community... but I had never done it. One evening, after a couple of beers, I did it. I signed up. I didn't know anyone. I didn't really know anything about the site. I just wanted to check it out.
I put up one picture of myself, a bit coy and wearing a crown (I would share, but I don't want to put my face on my blog.). I wrote a tiny blurb about myself. The hook was, "If you choose to know me, be forewarned, I am a bit much to handle... not for the faint of heart."
After that, I set off to find someone to talk to; ideally, local, my age, and a dominant... but I was open to other things. I looked through the first two pages of results in my area.
Nope. Nope. Unattractive. Sounds creepy. Nope.
I moved on to the third page. 28M Dom. Ok, that sounds promising. I opened his profile. Not only was he extremely good looking, but his About Me section was full of joy, honesty, and discussion of doing things for the sole purpose of making other people happy. Not only that, but his fantasies went as dark as mine. Darker even. Sounded like fun. Sold. So, I sent him a message.
C: Tell me about you?
I was feeling especially nonchalant after my two beers. I had no expectations. Then, he responded! We traded a few basic pleasantries.
M: Just curious what you'd like to know about me, Catlytt :-) hope you're having a great night so far! :-)
C: I'm a sub... but pretty shy about it. I'm kind of looking into the lifestyle/looking for a relationship.
M: Well, munches are decent to go to. Also, I'd be interested in meeting with you, if you think you'd enjoy hanging out with me :-) Tell me about your submissive desires, fantasies, things that make you satisfied or happy. If you're comfortable sharing that. Or non-kink things, too! Tell me about you being a bit much to handle--I'm curious! :-)
Oh my god, he took the bait.
C: I would be totally cool with hanging out sometime. I have yet to really go to anything... I'm a bit shy. I want to know whatever you would like to share. I'm curious by nature. :-) Pray tell whatever you think I should know. I've never had a real sub/dom relationship. It's something that I have wanted for as long as I can remember... but a good dom is hard to find. I'm a fairly aggressive and dominant personality outside of the bedroom. I love feeling like I am serving a master as they would like. I like a sensitive and intuitive master who is not unnecessarily brutal. I like pain, but I have my limits. For me, the sub/dom lifestyle is very emotional... the give and take is fairly sacred. But, I may or not provoke a master... :-P
M: Not only a good Dom, but the right one for you. I've been having the same situation with subs haha, although they aren't so much bad or awful people as they just aren't the right fit. You've wanted this for a long time--that must be frustrating as heck, but here's the good news--good Doms are out there, for sure. Your time will definitely come :-) Ok! I look forward to talking with you! I have my own experiences and take on things, both of which I can tell you, but I'm by no means an expert--no one is. Each relationship is unique :-) Hahaha, a little bratty, perhaps :-P. Very very fun! D/s relationships can be very incredibly intimate, and they don't even require sex! Although of course they can as a possibility. But yes, it's a very fulfilling experience for many people.
C: Of course! I was raised in a very closed-minded town... But I have had pretty dark fantasies for a long time, long before I understood them. I'm totally game for hanging out sometime if you would like. I'm off all this week.Yes, It's the intimacy I am longing for. Though, sex is always welcome. I'm a bit of a nympho.I don't know if I would call it bratty... I'm certainly not spoiled. But, I do have a serious mind of my own.
M: Oh! Vacation????? And this week, as in until Monday?
C: I start back on tuesday night.
M: Well then. Intimacy, sex. Nympho, eh? :-P. Strong words from the shy little sub ;-P. Only kidding. But you do seem intriguing :-) smart, sexy, and kinky? Not the worst combination haha.Serious mind indeed :-)
C: Well, here is my number. Text if you're interested.
Sorry guys, I must edit out a few things. I can't have my number floating around on the internet.
Then, he texted me. I could hardly believe it! We arranged to meet Saturday. We kept texting, sharing more information. He asked for permission to specify how I should dress for our meeting, and he sent me an ominous picture of a binder clip with a caption that said it was for me. I allowed him to dom me a little, but I made it very clear that I was not allowing much more until I trusted him. Along those lines, I also set a hard limit on gags... until the requisite trust was established.
On Friday afternoon, he asked if I was available that night to meet. So much for Saturday. I said that I was free. He told me to bring overnight things, but that he would reserve judgement about whether or not we would play until we met. This might have been concerning with someone else, but I had a pretty good feeling for this guy. He really didn't seem creepy. He seemed like an awesome person to know. So, I let him have the reins.
He told me to wear a buttoned down shirt, with one more button open than I normally would, and the shortest skirt in my arsenal. I had a moment of stress while I tried to put together an outfit. (Confession: I'm pretty vain.) I finally decided on a crisp white shirt, a grey miniskirt, and high heeled boots. I felt exposed. (This was much more revealing than I normally dress and more revealing than my mother would ever have tolerated.)
I talked with my safe-call. I told her where I was going, when I was going, and told her that I would report in at intervals. If I didn't respond to her within a designated time, she would call the police. Personal safety, check. I was so nervous that I could barely walk. I was, literally, shaking in my boots. So, I went to the bar an hour early. I figured that if we had to meet on neutral territory that I could at least get the lay of the land first.
I got a beer. Chugged it. Still nervous. I got a second beer. I was halfway through putting it away when he walked in.
He didn't see me at first. He looked all around. But then, he spotted me. He strode purposefully across the room and sat beside me. There was some nervous laughter, on my part, though I tried to play it off.
He took a good long look at me, like a person who had been in a desert for weeks and has just spotted water. His eyes hugged my curves like a second skin. "Good girl," he whispered in my ear, "Very good girl."
It was noisy in the bar. We shouted at each other for a couple of minutes when he leaned in again, "You're coming home with me." I had prepared myself for this. I brought my overnight bag. I was ready. "Yes Sir," I said with a flutter of concern/uncertainty in my belly. I wanted to trust him. Oh, how it turned me on.
Honestly, I've never gone home with a stranger before. They always come home with me. Yes, ladies and gentlemen, I'm a huntress.
And that's what happened. I didn't eat. I couldn't. In my nervous state, I forgot all my things in my car. But, he took me home with him.
His place wasn't far from the bar. It only took us a couple of minutes to get there. It was a quiet neighborhood. He lead me up a walk, around behind a house, and downstairs into the basement. In his bedroom, there was a mattress on the floor, which did, at least, appear to have clean sheets. It was a fairly spartan living space, not much different than I had expected.
We climbed onto the mattress. His lips met mine. His fingers tangled into my hair, and I let go. I trusted. Blindly. He took control.
Our clothes came off in a very matter-of-fact way. There was no passionate ripping. It happened as if it were totally expected, part of the arrangement. I was frightened and so aroused. I continued to choose to trust.
He got up from the bed. I stifled a gasp as I watched the muscles ripple in his thigh, watched him move around the room. I was mesmerised.
As it turned out, he was serious about the binder clips. They pinched hard (really, fucking hard!) on my nipples, sending electric shocks straight down my spine. I felt my pussy throb as if startled from sleep. His fingers slid over my body and took their place in my dripping cunt. I had warned him previously that it was difficult to make me cum. He made me look like a liar.
I was completely at his mercy. There was not a single part of me that wanted to stop him. Honestly, I was asking myself if I would fuck on the first date. Yes, I decided, I would. I'm so ready. Take me. This lack of control is completely intoxicating.
He didn't try. I must admit I was befuddled. There hadn't been many men in my life who hadn't tried to get in my pants right away. It was curious, but I let it go.
I was completely spent. He didn't get awkward. He didn't kick me out. He wrapped his arms around me, and went to sleep. Normally, I need sleeping pills to sleep, but not that night. Curled up in his arms, cradled in the warmth of his body, I slept, not a care in the world.
We spent the next two days together. All day Saturday and Sunday morning. We had an amazing time. We held hands. Kissed in public. Laughed and smiled until our faces began to cramp. Then, I went home.
I had been home for a few hours when I got a text message. He was very polite, if a little withdrawn. He explained that he had a lot going on in his life right now with school, apartment hunting, and surgical planning. He basically told me that he didn't have time for me. I wanted something serious, and he was too busy.
I cried. It may seem silly, but I was so disappointed. The weekend had been like a dream come true for me. I had more fun than I had had in months. I felt cared for, special, cherished. And suddenly, it was over. I was practically dejected. I talked with one of my best friends. She comforted me. I let it go. He continued to talk back and forth, a little, the rest of Sunday and Monday.
Monday, late afternoon, I got a text.
M: May I come over and see you after work?
My pulse quickened. My cheeks flushed. I cracked the tiniest of grins as I replied, "Yes Sir."